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31 December 2037 @ 12:00 am
11 February 2013 @ 03:33 pm

This photo was taken in Los Angeles, California. I went to a goth club with my best friend Niki. We had a wonderful time dancing on stage.

no dreams at all for a while, I woke up from one composed of about seven or eight scenes out of which I vaguely remember three. The first scene is most vivid.

I was hanging out with some really close friends (that I don't recognize from waking life.) I was carrying something for them but I have no recollection what it was. We were standing at an open terminal for a bus and talking. I stepped over the sidewalk to call out the bus, and when it arrived it was a large silver public bus. The driver opened the door but I couldn't see him, everything was immaculate and the people inside were quite calm. I went up to the entrance of the bus and helped my friends in, who took their things and went to the very last row in the back. There was an empty seat in the front that I told the girl to sit at, the person next to that seat said it was a lucky seat. She preferred the back with her male friend, though. I stepped back and the doors closed, then everybody wave.

I couldnt walk into the bus because it was a bus for the dead. I know that the station was actually that conduit taking the souls from our world to the next stage, and the fact that they were children is the fact that they are starting a new life. It startled me that I didn't recognize them, but they were aged around the same age of the kids in the Six of Cups. When I met Grandma she was 60, and when I met Riski he was ~27. The mind is so powerful.

[Upon waking, I realized the girl and the boy were Grandma and my cousin when he was younger. He passed away in January and from what I gather he didn't even realize he was dead, but I have started dreaming with him now. I have already made contact with him during waking life. I did wake up pretty shocked, though.]

I don't know why, I have sex in my dreams with friends or with people that I would never consider having sex with. They are
rarely my boyfriend. This time I realized I (please hold your laughter) was in the midst of a sex magic ritual with none other than Aleister Crowley. His gaze was penetrating, stern and quite nerve racking.

Today i dreamt that there was a forest behind my house i have dreamt of before but it was fenced up and impossible to get to. unlike other dreams, i could not jump that fence. i was uncomfortable of walking in because there were dangers lurking in the forest now and I knew it. Then I started finding diamond rings and jewelry in the grass but I did not take it. They glistened.

A boy was helping me find them but i did not recognize him. they belonged to my mother or my grandmother. then I woke up.

08 February 2013 @ 03:11 am

"Ad tu, deditio meus cor, meus amina, meus credo”.
Nos volvimos a encontrar, pero esta vez con frio en nuestras almas (un escalofrió de recuerdos cruzaron nuestras miradas). No lo pude creer, después de tanto tiempo (donde estuviste?) "Mi corazón, estuve siempre en tus recuerdos". Nos levantamos nuestras sabanas, descubrimos nuestros velos. Miro tus vacantes ojos; así no eran como los recuerdo (el tiempo nos ha quitado nuestros brillos). Tocamos nuestras pálidas pieles, frías por tanto tiempo. Nos besamos en los labios, aun con polvo y tiempo (siento que en este instante muero). Háblame con tu sonrisa, ya no aguanto el silencio. Rompamos nuestros capullos, hemos nacido de nuevo (solo si pudiéramos dar para atrás al tiempo). Aunque sea un instante, sostenme de nuevo (no ibas a estar aquí conmigo todo el tiempo?). El aire es denso entre nosotros, pero aun todo es perfecto. Jamás pensé que llegaría de nuevo este momento. El mundo nos ha arrebatado de nuestros deseos, pero al final obtuvimos lo que quisimos (siente como poco a poco calentamos nuestros cuerpos). Mira mis ojos, no son los mismos (ves a Dios en mi interior? Esto es lo más cercano al Cielo). Nos levantamos de nuestras camas, pero la fuerza nos traiciona (quema, quema, mi corazón esta latiendo de nuevo). Crujen nuestras almas al movernos por la grama (que bien se siente la humedad entre nuestros dedos). Alcanzo a tu oído para decirte lo que siento por dentro (Te Amo) pero mis labios aun están dormidos y resecos. La Luna nos observa desde lo lejos (eres tu quien ha facilitado nuestro encuentro?). "Mira amor, otros espíritus se ven en le tiniebla. Como están danzando y sonriendo". Extiendo mi mano, entrelazamos nuestros dedos (de morir ahora, mátame, ahora estoy completo).

"Nuestras alas están ardiendo"
De nuevo en nuestros colchones, Dios aun esta adentro (soplémoslo de vez, respirémoslo completo). El amanecer se acerca, esta
por concluir nuestro encuentro (eres mi mañana, la luz que amenaza mis pupilas. Dame de nuevo mi paz). Si pudiera alargar mi paraíso, aquí junto a ti (Tanatos, no, no, no bebas mi interior). "Ad tu, deditio meus cor, meus amina, meus credo". Estoy ya ciego con el llanto (estoy de nuevo sufriendo?). Aférrate a mi fuerte y no me sueltes (recuerda la promesa). Esta vez no soportaría una desilusión más. Abrázame, pues me desvanezco (susúrrame al oído palabras de esperanza, comparte conmigo este dolor). "ea id cum fides ille cado in tuus potens ala". Todo mi interior se siente como piedras, no soporto mi propio peso (o es simplemente que me disuelvo?). "ea id cum amor ille offero calix de meus corbibo". Recuérdame siempre; tenme en tu silencioso corazón, hasta que nos encontremos de nuevo. La miseria llama, mi sangre de nuevo muere (estuvo viva por ti siempre).

Un cascaron, sin vida ni sentido, abraza el polvo entre sus brazos.

11 January 2013 @ 04:56 pm

16 November 2012 @ 03:11 pm

One month after the Tokyo trip and I am still day dreaming about it actively. It presented some of the most gratifying experiences that make for such sweet memories in the year of 2012. As I begin to wind it down and I look back at my favorite moments in waking life, I have to admit that those magical two weeks are pretty high up on the list. It was a special way to spend my birthday, and I want to share it with my readers.

I woke up dazed to my birthday, with my hair all over my face and a slow smile growing. As the daystarted, we drank juice at the lobby and then we went to check our e-mail. I walked Mom through one of my favorite routes in Shiodome and we ended up at the Maruetsu Petit, scavenging for plum wine and sparkling apple cider. Instead, we ended up with a bunch of Pocky boxes and some delicious red wine that I would love to get my hands on again. On the way back we stopped by the park and took some photos, then we went on my favorite train ride. The staple of Japan for me is the signature walk to Shimbashi and 20 minute train ride on the JR Yamanote subway line. I know all the stops by heart... along with every other working man and girl taking the line to work.

We got off at Harajuku station and met with Kelly, who showed us a side of Harajuku we had not seen before. The shops were so cute that we stalled 15 minutes more than we probably should have. We met up with Mat and went to eat at a very common family restaurant in Japan — whose name eludes me — that is basically the Japanese Denny's. After that we went for some shopping at Laforet, which promptly tore my wallet in two at Alice and the Pirates. It was a worthy investment in a one-of-a-kind outfit, but it sure gave me an adrenaline rush! Afterwards, we went to take some purikura. It helped soothe the shock from the spending! Purikura is so much fun — can you believe I had not tried it before?

Then is when the magic really started. After we found the building that the Alice Café in Shinjuku is housed at, we started to descend the steps in excitement. When we finally saw it, we noticed the entrance is like a secret book passage. When you are close enough, the door slides to the side to reveal the front desk and a quick view of the maze. On the outside there are displays of plastic food — I love those! — and ephemera for you to take home or to show your friends. It was like magic!

Going into the maze is fun as you make your way to the tables. The booths are little private rooms inside the maze with card symbols everywhere. On the right side, there is a private room with cards hovering above the table in a lovely installation. It would be any cartomancer's dream to have a tarot or Lenormand party in that room! A day of cards, tea and Alice... yes, please!

At the very back there were some lovely alternatives to sit at. The majority of the space is taken up by a heart-shaped table with a chandelier of hearts looming overhead. The booths beside it had colorful murals of Alice and lovely cushioned chairs. We got the tables that had frosted mirrors, chess pieces and wall stickers over glass. The menu was a large storybook presented by Alice herself. Everything was themed and made to look presentable, which is normal for Japanese culture but rare in America. It is my first time trying an egg along with my pasta. At first I was reluctant to sample it, but I warmed up to the idea of it.

Overall the food was enjoyable and fairly reasonably priced. We found that the best is always saved for last with the desserts. After my cheeks were flushed from a lively birthday song, we delighted in sweets and in tarot readings. To wind down the night, we took a walk back to Golden Gai and bid good-bye to the Shinjuku nightlife splendor. It was a dream!

This review is tainted by my love for Japan. Can you tell?


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15 November 2012 @ 01:22 pm
I am a member of a dream interpretation group on Facebook. I posted the dream there and got some really wonderful advice. The thread was concluded with an in-depth tarot reading by Stacy La Rosa. She's wonderful!

"Boundaries are not just essential, they are necessary! YOU need that time not just to be alone with yourself, but also to recharge...so bravo on your decision!

Now, for your spread on that dream:
Theme of Dream: Fool. You are on a journey of discovery, both inner and outer. Don a mask, live life as someone else for a bit and observe everything around you. New experiences will bring you new discoveries.

Blocking the message: Hanged Man (rev). Hang in suspension quietly as you gain insight and perspective not just relating to you, but the world as a whole. This is not a time to do; it is a time to just be. You can’t push things to happen so while waiting, enlighten yourself to what is really going on within. Quietly align yourself with the Universe and become in tune with all that is going on around you. Remember, sometimes doing nothing IS doing something.

Main Message: Temperance. Part spirit, part earth you must always keep in mind that even though you try, things will not always be in balance, so integrate those events that affect you that you have no control over, take the reins for the things you can (like that damn phone!!) and work hard when you can to get that balance back.

How to proceed: 9 of Wands. Even a sunny day can seem gloomy when you’ve suffered a hurt, a loss or just feel beaten down. You’ve come so far, so even when you are feeling utterly miserable, be open and prepared for the changes in your life when they finally do occur. See what develops and know that the cycle you are now in is coming to an end so hang in there.

After reading not just the dream, comments & my interpretation, the HM (rev) makes even MORE sense...and 3 out of 4 cards are majors...says a lot, no? No more people pleasing other than yourself. No more "hanging on a cross" for others. It's MONICA time. Once you set yourself up as a "doormat" it is very hard to switch gears...but your biggest fears will NOT be realized. I learned that by establishing boundaries (such as no one is even allowed to CALL me! they MUST test first...even the hub & kids!) and I thought I would piss people off, lose clients AND friends...but the total opposite happened. I gained respect...for MY time. Be bold & courageous, those who love you still will & those that don't get it? Like my grandma Ida always said (have no idea how to spell it, but it's Yiddish, lol) "Gey kokh uff en yem" which translates to "go take a sh*t in the ocean" ;) She was wise, respected, didn't have an enemy in the world & even at 4 ft 6 inches, everyone called her a GIANT!

I hope everything in this thread has some validity in your waking life so you can eliminate the zombies & find some peace...especially at night."
14 November 2012 @ 11:21 am
Loaded dreams last night!

It started out with my Dad in a 'camp' like place. We were defending ourselves from a zombie apocalypse. For a while things were heavy in other areas, but we got the least of them. I ended up leaving that camp place to go to dad's working place, it was like a fortress. The bad thing about it is that en exit isn't easy if we got ambushed.

Mom showed up at the fortress place to talk to me for a while, we agreed to go someplace but we were waiting on Dad to show up. Then a person who used to work for Mom showed up with an extra key to the fortress. She seemed suspicious to me, but somehow we got the key back from her. There is a lot of blank between one action to another.

Next thing I know I'm in a portal looking into a fire temple, or the way to a fire temple. I saw Mom standing peacefully next to a statue of gold of an Indian god. The earth all around was scorched, but it seemed more like the inside of a volcano than the Earth. I asked her to wait for me and she got back instantly, but when I entered the path, stepping planks of wood and melting ropes showed up for me to climb. It was like making your way through a tree house in the sky. As I went, the stepping planks of wood appeared and disappeared. Even I started to disintegrate. It was weird! I don't remember getting to the golden statue, instead I must have crossed the portal and gone back somewhere normal. I don't remember what comes after that.

People without souls / posing a threat to you if they are close. I do feel with a lot of the people I know that they latch on to feed off my energy and my tarot skills. Sometimes I get texts or calls at 4AM from someone telling me they need to speak to me urgently. When I call, they ask me to interpret a dream or read their cards. I usual tell them I will with pleasure, but to call at appropriate times.

It happens more than once a week. While I know I need to be passionate and compassionate, sometimes it really wears me out. I think the zombies can be those people.

A safe place. I do have a tendency to stay at home and 'hide' from the world. I joke about being in a bubble all the time.

I held two keys of a different color to compare them in their structure. One was blue, the other white or pink. Keys open doors, and doors are portals to the subconscious or to memories that are locked. I accessed one portal to a temple, maybe the other key was to close that portal to the scorched Earth. It makes more sense than anything else I can think of!

Scorched Earth:
Since I was going through a portal to the inside, it could be that the scorched Earth was me inside. either my mind or my soul that I was seeing in that state.

Gold Statue:
Something so sacred in a place so dangerous.

If you feel or notice a symbol I may have overlooked, please do share!

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12 October 2012 @ 11:33 am

Hello Witches,

One more week to go until I find myself traveling across the world to Japan. I'm so excited that I can barely restrain myself from talking about it!

Today I received the Tarot of the Vampyres in the mail. It felt good to finally receive it, I have been looking forward to connecting with it. For some reason, it just calls! I gave it a quick shuffle and mentally centered myself, then asked it how it saw me. The result is the Empress. I haven't been too comfortable with the idea of that Major Arcana before, but this time I have to admit that it felt pretty good! She's definitely from a darker world, as I am. Still, she retains the creative energy and the comfort of the luxury of being at home. I do feel like that today.

Justice was right under it with a very visible Libra sign in it. I think I can work with this deck.

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Current Mood: excitedexcited
22 September 2012 @ 01:26 am

Hi Livejournal,

Its been a while, hasn't it? My mind has been all over the place lately. I do so much floating around that it is almost literal! More thinking than doing, more dreaming than acting, more hoping than seeing come to life.

Let's start with the best. J and I are doing very well. He keeps day dreaming about Halloween, trying to get me into the creative brainstorming stage. It looks like he's cooking up something interesting for a Halloween party. I've been too distracted to join in the fun, but I guess it's time to decide what we will be for Halloween! The date is almost here! Lady Gaga, here we come!

Work has been slow lately. I have come to terms with the fact my service is a luxury more than it is a necessity for people. [Perhaps I see it as a necessity, but well...] It could be that I am not applying myself as hard as I used to, but I do it to keep myself from getting burnt out. Reading tarot is really more than turning cards over and telling somebody their fortune, but that's pretty hard to explain to everyone. I'd rather do my work without complaints, mull it over a cup of wine and go to bed somewhat satisfied with my work.

I had a funny situation working at the Kaisen. Somebody I knew was also reading tarot there, so it was competition. She was doing pretty rokkin' before I sat down. Afterwards we were pretty even in number of clients. The second day I didn't have time to really focus on the readings, so I went to do administrative work. Oh, the stress! It was worth it at the end of the day.

PICTURESCollapse )

Zero productivity in blog and in making my own tarot deck! I need a boost or a pick-me-up to motivate me to carry on with my projects. I wish I had a friend to buckle down and really work with! Nothing tops the Ringling labs and feeling a part of an artist community. IT was really inspiring to get me to work.

I have noticed myself getting a little disconnected from the cards. I lay them out and I understand the general meaning of the story, but getting it out is a whole other ball game. The meanings get muddled together and I can't make sense if anything is meant to stand out. I guess this means I need a little break from reading cards!

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